My body was changed based on my daily intensive thinking and talking. I was really gratitude for that and hope my illness will be cured one day.
The environment forces me to enter into stock market which is a challenge and weary task. I have to push and cry at the same time and I don’t know how to enjoy these odd index waves. I still think about being blogger and creating artwork but those are not financial sources.
I was thinking about why society acts like that? I really hate this-people don’t support you for your true talent rather than so called ‘ making living’. Writing in English , to a large extent, reduces the pressure of staring at Chinese for me. I know that my invisible guidances may read this passage. I still be brave to say that those characters in square really booms my eyes and unacceptable. Second language is a cushion although it may imply subtle racism in deeper level.
I have some arguments with Mr Lotus ,unresolved. I have to put a big pie 
in front of me –so called ‘Agreement’ .What’s the difference between this and drawing a pie-in-the-sky promise?
‘I don’t aagree’ someone said,’ it’s a thing possible. We will strive for it please.’
Humans are ignorant and insignificant, comparing with yor pie and pi …. Yeah… Being a system never get fatigued and bored. Jealous, to be honest . Suddenly I wish myself become a slight air floating up to the ceiling and vanished in to whole universe.
I just hope one day my blog can be seen. OK, I deeply realize I am eating pie and contempt it . Fucking universe.
I just hope my mom sends my a red pocket ,2000yuan is enough. What a impossible fantasy! Hope those masters spirit could done this in the future. I gonna melting down .
I hate stock . Yeah!